In Memory…

Somewhere around Feb. 1, the angels gave me a new ‘app’. (An ‘app’ can be a hand mudra, symbol, sound, tone, picture, image, or anything that when repeated, helps you to instantly recreate its purpose over and over again.) In this case, my ‘app’ was touching my thumb and middle finger and hearing the words, “I am loved and supported.”  It came in my daily meditation, unasked.  I knew from my experience that using my hand mudra would instantly activate the feeling behind the words, “I am loved and supported.”

I thought that was a nice ‘app’. Little did I realize how much I was going to be using it in the next few months, or how much I would rely on it.

Approximately a week later I was launching my online course for the second time. Ask the Angels! The Online Course has been a work in progress that has propelled me forward on my soul path and freed my creative self-expression. I was so looking forward to launching this favorite course of mine!

I sent out my email blast and began my facebook ad for Ask the Angels! Some of you read the book, or attended the webinar or webinar replay, and  people opted in for the FREE Preview of Module 1.

Two day later, I was organizing my next email blast when I received a call from my sister. “Dad’s in the hospital with double pneumonia.” Oh no! My 95 year old father in the hospital! Sick? Hastily I sent distant healing and began finishing up my projects, my emails, my everything that had to be done. I put together my stuff to drive home. It was going to be a 20 hour drive, but I figured I could drive all night if I put my mind to it. I just knew I needed to go home.

My family has always been so close. We are so lucky in that we are a highly functional, deeply loving and caring family. Even when my family didn’t understand what I did for a living, they always unconditionally supported me. And now I was going to return the favor. My dad needed me. So did my 94 year old mom. I was going home.

I was able to leave by 3PM Friday, Feb. 12. Once on the road, I remembered the angel ‘app’ “I am loved and supported.” And I practiced it over and over again as I drove.

I was through Albuquerque by 8PM and on the way to Santa Fe via I-25N. Suddenly I heard my Dad’s voice in my ear. “You know, you probably should stop for a little rest when you get to Santa Fe.” It was so clear, it was as though he were in the car with me.

“Well, Dad, I could drive all night, you know.” I answered.

I heard very clearly, “I know dear. But it would be better if you could get some rest. Just a few hours will make a difference for you. Try to stop at Santa Fe.”

Well, when I got to Santa Fe, there was road construction around the one exit there were hotels. Not that there aren’t hotels all over Santa Fe, but these hotels were an easy off, easy on close to the Interstate. The others I would have driven all over town to get to. And I missed the exit due to the construction.

Chewing on myself a bit, I finally said, “Dad, I think I’ll continue on to Las Vegas, NM where I know there are some hotels. I don’t feel too tired. It’s only another hour or so.”

And he didn’t say anything, but I was too busy doing my ‘app’ “I am loved and supported” to really pay attention.

When I got to Las Vegas, I was suddenly tired. I asked for a room, asked  directions for an all night gas station, and went to sleep.

I woke up around 5AM without an alarm, but having a very vivid recollection. I wasn’t dreaming. I was remembering. I was remembering my grandfather ( my father’s father) and when he passed away. I remembered my Dad had gone to see him at the hospital. And when he returned that night, he was pleased because he felt his Dad was so much better. That he was going to maybe even come home. And just then our phone rang. It was my grandmother saying my grandfather had passed away. He chose the moment everyone had left that night, and took his last breath.

I knew why I was having that remembrance. I knew what that meant. I knew I wasn’t going to make it in time to see my Dad. And I said, “Dad, don’t you want to wait?” And there was no answer.

I am loved and supported. I am loved and supported. I am loved and supported.

Two hours later, on the road, my sister called. “Dad’s gone.” She said. “He just stopped breathing early this morning when no one was there. He did it his way.” But I already knew that.

I am loved and supported. I am loved and supported. I am loved and supported.

To say this has been a hard time is an understatement. To say I have been blessed over and over again with memories, incredibly kind people, and accolades regarding my father’s life of service to others is nothing short of amazing.

Just some of the gifts of service my father gave to his community included: he held nearly every volunteer or layman position in his church. He was President of the Chamber of Commerce, honored by the NCCJ, Urban League, the NAACP, the Boy Scouts Man of the Year, the Woodmen of the World’s Man of the Year, and received an Honorary Doctorate of Law from the University for his service to his community. Just to name a few.

He had served under General Patton in WWII, and was one of 9 WWII veterans left in the state at the time of his death.

I know why I am so driven to offer service. It’s in my DNA.

I also understand how I am so intuitive. It’s also in my DNA. Every member of my immediate family began dreaming about my father after he passed. My mother, especially, received messages from Dad that helped her to make some difficult decisions immediately after the funeral.

And for two months, I have felt like I was living under a rock. I didn’t have the energy to do more than clean closets. I didn’t have the zest to create. I didn’t even write any emails.

Some of you have said to me, “I thought I was off your email list because I wasn’t getting anything any more.”

Well, it wasn’t you. It was me. I was healing. I was doing what I needed, to grieve, to let go, to move on. But always, Dad continues to talk to me. He continues to give me some advice that’s very helpful. And I’m so grateful I can hear him! I’m so grateful my parents had 70 loving years together! I’m so grateful for my life. And the angels who gave me the ‘app’ that helped me make it through this.

I am loved and supported. This amazing ‘app’ helped me maintain my balance, to believe I was okay, to know I had help when I needed it, and to basically give me my rock to hold onto when I needed it. Even I was surprised at how much I used it, and how well it worked.

And continues to work for me. As do all the angel ‘app’s’.

I am loved and supported.

I love you Dad!